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just read all my old entries [17 Apr 2008|12:32am]
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this is just personal reference. [23 May 2007|11:20am]

DorianDramaturg: http://www.hihostels.com/dba/list.php?lang=E&city=GB|0040
DorianDramaturg: okay, actually I recommend Holland Park. Plus it's a bit cheaper.  Sounds like good, historic atmosphere. 
DorianDramaturg:  if you'd like to meet up with any Brits while you're in London, you should call my friend Rachel.  Let me know if you're interested and I'll email her to let her know you'll be calling.  She and her husband live on a houseboat (how cool is that?) in central London in Regents Park.  I went to school at a college in that same park.  Rachel's mobile (dial her from the UK) is:  0207 7872313
DorianDramaturg:  if you want to borrow my virgin mobile for the UK and buy pre-paid virgin phone cards at one of their stores, you can come over today and pick it up
goldenblue light: i actually have a phone with cards for the trip
DorianDramaturg:  sweet
goldenblue light: ok, if you could email them yeah i might take you up on that
DorianDramaturg:  awesome, I'll email Rachel.  She's great.  She's a Quaker (did I explain all that?) so be sure to tell her about your interest in human rights stuff.  Who knows, there might be some big British event on that topic that would give you some insight on the Brit's approach to tackling problems.
DorianDramaturg:  I'll email Rachel right now.  That hostel look okay for your first night?  I'm not sure you can make a reservation online the day before.  You might want to call or fax them or something.
goldenblue light: the st pauls one?
goldenblue light: i'm checking on it right now
DorianDramaturg:  no, Holland Park
DorianDramaturg:  how many weeks will you be in the UK?
goldenblue light: three total
goldenblue light: i'm checking out holland park right now
DorianDramaturg:  cool
goldenblue light: so i doubt i'll be able to plan out all my hostel stays in one night
goldenblue light: how best can i really wing it?
DorianDramaturg:  do you have a guide book of any sort?
DorianDramaturg:  they often have hostel phone numbers and reviews in them
goldenblue light: yeah, i have a hostel guide
DorianDramaturg:  oh good!
DorianDramaturg:  well you'll just have to wing it with calling hostels when you know you want to show up
goldenblue light: i mean if i call these places the night i need a place to stay, would i likely have any luck?
DorianDramaturg:  depends on the size of the city -- as in, the # of hostels
goldenblue light: ah, i see
DorianDramaturg:  buses are a good way to get around from city to city  http://www.nationalexpress.com
DorianDramaturg:  can be cheap
DorianDramaturg:  if you decide to go further away, though, get a cheap flight from http://www.ryanair.com
goldenblue light: flights?
goldenblue light: throughout uk?
DorianDramaturg:  yup
DorianDramaturg:  to get to Scotland or Ireland or Wales
DorianDramaturg:  that's how I'd use it
DorianDramaturg:  faster and possibly cheaper than the bus
goldenblue light: alright
goldenblue light: man
goldenblue light: i am so overwhelmed right now
DorianDramaturg:  I'd bet!
DorianDramaturg:  I'm emailing Rachel and looking to see if there are any events I know about that would be good for you to do this week
DorianDramaturg:  I'd recommend spending your first day just walking around, getting a sense of the city
goldenblue light: absolutely
goldenblue light: luggage
goldenblue light: i'll probably bring a just a duffel
DorianDramaturg:  you don't have a large backpack?
DorianDramaturg:  you're backpacking through Europe.  I'd really recommend it.
DorianDramaturg:  even just so people know what's up when they see you with luggage
goldenblue light: alright. where can i find such a backpack?
DorianDramaturg:  REI
DorianDramaturg:  where do you live?
goldenblue light: new lenox
DorianDramaturg:  this is the place you need to go:  tp://www.rei.com
DorianDramaturg:  http://www.rei.com
DorianDramaturg:  there's a location 25 West Golf Road, Niles, IL 60714 if that'd be closer for you
DorianDramaturg:  also one at 17W160 22nd St
Oakbrook Terrace, IL 60181
goldenblue light: DAMN
DorianDramaturg:  and one at 888 Willow Rd
Northbrook, IL 60062

goldenblue light: haha
goldenblue light: alright, i'll check out those locations
DorianDramaturg:  do you know what your phone number will be if Rachel would try to call you from the UK?
goldenblue light: i don't know, i'll have to query my mom, but i can text it to you tonight
DorianDramaturg:  I was just thinking it'd be a good idea to give that to Rachel in case her mobile # has changed
goldenblue light: ok
goldenblue light: yeah, i wish i knew it
DorianDramaturg:  I'll email it to her later
goldenblue light: do you still want me to text it to you or sometheing when i figure it out?
DorianDramaturg:  yes
DorianDramaturg:  and what's your email address that you'll be checking when over there?
DorianDramaturg:  I'll give that to her, too
DorianDramaturg:  I really like your screen name btw
goldenblue light: theweb87@gmail.com
goldenblue light: thank you!
goldenblue light: oh man
goldenblue light: my mom works in oakbrook
goldenblue light: thats not too far
DorianDramaturg:  so when you arrive in London it'll be Thursday?  or will it be Friday?
DorianDramaturg:  the people at REI are very knowledgable.  they'll know what kind of backpack you should get
goldenblue light: thursday
goldenblue light: i believe
goldenblue light: i'm leaving at one, then arriving in manchester then switching planes to get to london
DorianDramaturg:  okay I'm CCing you on the email to Rachel
goldenblue light: 1pm*
DorianDramaturg:  hey Joe, what's your last name?
goldenblue light: ha
goldenblue light: weber
DorianDramaturg:  got it.  Thus the email address.
goldenblue light: yours?
DorianDramaturg:  Hadley
DorianDramaturg:  Dorian Hadley
DorianDramaturg:  I'm gonna call my friend Anna and see if she knows anybody who is studying at the college we both went to in London.  They'd be good to hang out with, too.  hang on a sec.
goldenblue light: excellent
goldenblue light: i got the email
DorianDramaturg:  http://www.hadrians-wall.org/
DorianDramaturg:  hiking around here is a good idea
DorianDramaturg:  you'd take the train to Newcastle
DorianDramaturg:  my friend Anna recommends doing the Hadrian's wall thing and staying at this hostel:  http://www.yha.org.uk/find-accommodation/northumberland-north-pennines/hostels/once-brewed/index.aspx
DorianDramaturg:  you might want to save some of this info in an email to yourself or something so you can have these links later
goldenblue light: yeah
goldenblue light: i may just print out this conversation and keep it in my pocket
goldenblue light: ha.
DorianDramaturg:  awww
you should definitely go to Camden market, even if to just people watch.  http://www.camdenlock.net
this website will help you plan taking the tube to get places:  http://www.tubeplanner.com
once you have a place booked to stay, you'll want to figure out how to get there from the airport via the tube
goldenblue light: ok
or actually this is the official travel planner for the tube:  http://journeyplanner.tfl.gov.uk/user/XSLT_TRIP_REQUEST2?language=en
I think this has info on discounts on tube fares:  http://www.tfl.gov.uk/tickets/faresandtickets/1067.aspx
goldenblue light: excellent
so Joe, what are some of your interests/hobbies?    Might help me better know what you might be interested in while travelling
goldenblue light: man
 haha  quite a question, eh?
goldenblue light: what do i do? i write. i like jazz. i take photos.
goldenblue light: artsy shit
DorianDramaturg:  niiice.
DorianDramaturg:  and that helps
DorianDramaturg:  would you be willing to stand all through a theater production?  I know a really cheap place with excellent theater that does that.
goldenblue light: oh hell yeah
DorianDramaturg:  sweet
DorianDramaturg:  yeah, anything about theater I can help you with
DorianDramaturg:  oh, btw.  When you arrive at the airport -- get a copy of Time Out London
DorianDramaturg:  that will have all of what's going on in the city
DorianDramaturg:  music, theater, etc.
DorianDramaturg:  tube stations listed and price of entry
goldenblue light: tube stations listed in the time out london?
DorianDramaturg:  yup
DorianDramaturg:  tube stations for each event
DorianDramaturg:  as in, the nearest tube to the theater
DorianDramaturg:  the theater that does standing room cheap tickets is http://www.royalcourttheatre.com/calendar.asp
DorianDramaturg:  and I want a full review    'cause they do great, edgy work and I wish I'd seen more there.
DorianDramaturg:  realize that for student discounts, etc. you have to get there 30 mins before the show starts -- or earlier.  Bring your student ID
DorianDramaturg:  if it ends up that Rachel is out of town when you're in London or something, let me know 'cause I have other friends there who I could refer you to
goldenblue light: ok
goldenblue light: well i do have a phpone so i could call you but i'm pretty likely to find a computer there right?
DorianDramaturg:  are you confident that your phone will work abroad?  you've tried it before?
goldenblue light: not mine, we bought one specifically for the trip
DorianDramaturg:  you'll find computers at internet cafes but you have to pay for how long you use them and I'm not sure all would have AIM.  I'll try to be on AIM more in the next month.  I'm usually just on yahoo
DorianDramaturg:  oh good and the place you bought it from said it'd work for abroad?
goldenblue light: yeah
DorianDramaturg:  cool
DorianDramaturg:  yeah, you can always call me
DorianDramaturg:  doesn't matter what time.  I'll try to remember to keep my phone near by bed.
DorianDramaturg:  realize I'm totally living vicariously through you here
DorianDramaturg:  I miss my London friends and the theater scene there sooo much
goldenblue light: haha
goldenblue light: yeah
goldenblue light: well i won't have quite the experience you did
DorianDramaturg:   well I'd hope not
DorianDramaturg:  you shouldn't date a British man
DorianDramaturg:  haha
goldenblue light: umm
goldenblue light: i'm pretty sure i wont
DorianDramaturg:  hehe  good
DorianDramaturg:  if you want to meet a ton of people who knew me really well three years ago, go to Friends House on a Sunday morning at 10 am.  Euston Station tube stop.  I'm not sure the exact address but Rachel would know.  That's my old church/ Quaker meetinghouse.  Extremely friendly folks there, very resourceful
DorianDramaturg:  and you'd get a cup o tea and a biscuit (cookie) afterwards

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what if? [21 Mar 2007|05:02pm]

i've always kind of wondered why the fuck we as americans are so sensitive so sexual exposure? i'm not talking so much about exhibitionism (although really, thats kind of odd to, when people clearly kiss in public)
why is the sight of a penis so offensive? a vagina? female (but not male) nipples?
why are we nervous about pissing or pooping in front of other people?
i know these are issues of moral decency, but what does it have anything to do with morality?
i'm no exception, i follow strict guidelines when i'm in a public urinal, but for what reason, i can't really say, other than "i don't want another guy looking at my dick" when i don't care if a guy checks me out, or if a girl checks me out, i mean a dick is as much a natural part of our body as is an arm or a leg.

the truth is, i was taking a poop today, (also, why is it "taking"?), and i felt lonely. like i could really use someone to talk to while i'm wasting my time there.

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[28 Jan 2007|07:57pm]
does anyone else smell after they eat?
or do you fantasize about having a very intense sexual encounter with the girl next to you in history class?
why is there hair around the nipples?
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[24 Sep 2006|03:15pm]
at the register, i hit on 35 year old women.
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[17 Sep 2006|12:48am]
in my opinion, coheed and cambria never stopped being good.
i'm not seeing them again though. their last show at lolla just proved that they have nothing new to offer as far as the live experience goes.
four times i've seen them. twice unintentionally. personally, i think my first experience was by far the best, when in keeping secrets was new and it was fucking HIP as hell, and they played with straylight run and three and the detatchment kit, that show brings back memories.
chiefly because it was the only time i had ever bought tickets from a scalper.
and someone's cellphone went off and the crowd started cheering.
that was fucking fun.

anyone ever see flcl?
i still like anime, too.
i still don't know what to think of it, i've seen the whole damn series and i'm between liking it and loathing it.

yes brian, i remember biker mice from mars. fuck yes.
theyre making a new biker mice thats already taken off in london.
just like they remaid the ninja turtles and gi joe and power rangers.
thank god vr troopers has remained untouched.

the cyber cafe is the center of everything entertaining in jjc. i stepped in next to the gamer tables to print out my speech. as i listened, i wrote this and posted it privately for future use. heres the delicious dialogue.

(six kids, all playing world of warcraft)


"why are we not ethnically cleansed yet?"

a new guy looks over from normal computer. we'll call him one, because i caught no name. he yells out from his spot across the room,


one runs over to the fat bearded man next to me (we'll call him two), who yells


one screams back


two screams like an animal, similar to that of a raptor from jurassic park


more screaming

"have you played dirge of cerberus lately?"

"i'm going to play quicken and lose like 14 pounds"

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[07 Sep 2006|12:28am]
anytime people bring up shows we used to watch as kids, its always old nickelodeon.
people seem to forget about gargoyles, the pirates of dark water, and conan the adventurer. those shows were badass.
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signs [27 Aug 2006|10:56pm]
i killed two bees with two different palahniuk books in the same fashion within the same hour.
i simply shut the book as they were crawling around inside.
maybe insects just like palahniuk.
its really not that big of a deal.
pluto is a big deal, kind of. or your idiot friend's pregnancy test.
or trying to piss a lot so you can pass a drug/alcohol screening.
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[23 Aug 2006|12:46am]
whenever i arrive home late at night, during the summer, i hid myself between the screen and front doors as i fumble with my keys to get myself inside. i do it because i hate spiders.
i don't even hate spiders anymore. i'm not afraid of them, to my knowledge. sure, i dont WANT one of the things crawling on me. but nonetheless, my childhood fear is. for the most part, diminished.
yet, here i am, hiding myself behind some half closed screen door because theres a giant newly made web about 3 feet away.
theres supposed to be a psychological explanation for all our little habits and pet peeves, whether you bite your nails, masturbate, or hate feet.
at times i kind of wonder how far deep into my consciousness does something so mundane dig itself? 
is there really a depth of reason behind why have these little habits or thoughts or is it really just some bullshit?
is all joking half serious?
i dont know, but i still find it kind of weird that i'm hiding myself from a distant spider i could easily crush at the smallest whim.

summer ended, i'm in school, yada yada.
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lollapalooza [09 Aug 2006|11:31pm]
i'll write more on the subject

i just wanted to say that although the concert/festival was an experience to remember, a fucking fantastic way to end the summer, the amount of corporate sponsorship that took place was sickening. granted, it was needed to support it, but just seeing at&t, budweiser, q101, and adidas logos in everywhich direction kind of took half the fun out of it.
i almost bought a tour shirt, had it not been for the at&t logo on the back.
i'm being a fucking prick about this, but think for a second.
bonaroo in manchester was just as big (though one less day long), with headlining bands such as ben folds, RADIOHEAD, and tom petty.
yet, there were no corporate logos anywhere, just BONAROO placed in every little object.

i will admit though that seeing the chili peppers and matisyahu front row kicked more ass than i could ever conjure on the fattest day of my life.

a lot happened.
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[30 Jul 2006|07:23pm]

i recently read a story i wrote in my freshman year about two guys in a space station being attacked by parasites. it was actually kind of cool, considering i wasn't much of a writer in those days. i used to watch a lot of anime, and play lots of video games. as a result, all my first stories were all about space and aliens and guns and things.
i'm such a winner.

also, i listen to wolf parade when i work out.

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RAMBLE [16 Jul 2006|12:02am]

a lot has been happening.
for instance, i paid around a grand to repair damages done to my car mostly by neglect and ignorance.
so i feel pretty good about that.

some friend of mine once asked me why people bother believing in ridiculous ideas such as islam and judaism. and the funny thing was, she was really serious about it. i can't even remember who it was who asked me this. i kind of blew it off and laughed. i'd rather not argue about such a subject, especially if its presented in that manner.

i must say i owe great credit to a few close friends of mine for various reasons. for example, if i go off in one of my tangents and convince myself that i'm so damn high and mighty above all the other ignorant urchins in the world i'll always have someone like dana or devan to bring me back to reality.
sometimes, i'll get full of myself. it happens.

i'm kind of going through this crazy stage in life where i hold question and doubt to just about everything i think and/or do. its been like this for the past year or so, and its starting to frustrate the hell out of me.
one of those "i wanna do this, but no, i dont, because of that, but i should still, because this and that, but then again, this" days. only drag it out for 8 months.
is that understandable?

i spent about 50 dollars on books (after selling 50$ worth of video games to EB) in the last 2 days, and already i'm all set to read something i'm borrowing from somebody else.
i dont consider it a waste though, theres two books on poetry (bukowski and billy corgan) and a book by fante and the sound and the fury by faulkner. i WILL get to them before the end of the year. the only problem is juggling all that between finishing the books left over from christmas and all the english homework i have to fuck around with.

i need to get back into photography. oh, how i miss it so.
i like how i was so passionate about it not even this year and already i've changed my major because i dont hold to much faith in whattever talent i have in it.
maybe i just woke up and realized i daydream far too much.

i listened to sunny day real estate today and remembered how jeremy enigk is going to be playing at lollapalooza. i'm not quite sure what to think of it, rumor has it he won't be playing anything from the frog queen, so basically it will all be new to me. new things arent bad though.

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[26 Jun 2006|03:12pm]
dear diary
dear livejournal friends who read this

yesterday, i bought metal gear sold, the original playstation version, and downloaded dashboard confessional's places you have come to fear the most, and realized i actually enjoyed the hell out both of them.
i spent 2 hours in my room listening chris carabba wailing on my stereo as i snapped the necks of russian revolutionarys, kind of losing myself in some continuous thought about whattever directions i'm heading towards in life, and realized that in spite of everything, life doesnt suck.

i started my english class today. this could be an easy a for me. it'd be pretty nice, considering i barely failed my last summer class, statistics. that was quite a bummer.

i have little planned for today. i'll probably end up finishing the night off at caribou reading palahniuk or bukowski or any of the other novels i've started this year but havent come close to finishing because i've started other novels.
in this case, its come down to invisible monsters or tales of ordinary madness.
to tell the truth, i kind of prefer palahniuk, being the dynamic expert of shock value he is.

my dad asked yesterday,
"when the next election comes around, are you gonna vote republican?"
i would have come up with some witty retort, but then i realized i havent even registered to vote yet.
what a damn shame.
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[23 Jun 2006|10:54am]
personal note #2:

i hate hate HATE morning wood.
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[22 Jun 2006|03:16am]

personal note (to self):

-smoking IS unhealthy, believe it or not. if you can't quit just yet, or if you don't want to, at least slow down. its getting bad.
-writing is probably your most valuable and defined talent. start exploiting it. start writing your novel. you have a plot, so work with it.
-school is so damn important i can't stress this enough. raise your gpa so you can get the hell out of here.
-sex is important, but not that important. in fact, it really isnt that important at all.
-stop chasing after the girl you know you can't get.
-when you say youre going to stop eating shit, stop eating shit.
-temporary diets get you nowhere.
-exercise more, it will allow you to stay alive longer so you can continue smoking. (smiles)
-stop spending money on concert tickets. music is important, but not that important. you don't need to see every goddamn band you listen to.
-learn how to manage money. a 7 dollar dinner from panera bread isnt exactly the smartest choice.
-shut your mouth and listen more.
-learn how to read music.(re-learn).  then, play more guitar.
-the world doesnt revolve around the communism and the soviet union.
-get back to work, you have a final to study for.

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[10 Jun 2006|10:55pm]
so i was sitting outside drinking coffee today and thinking about the norms of society and what everyone seems to find acceptable and i thought about how everyone says "they say that (you should do this, if you do that, this will happen, that isnt good for you, this, that, etc etc)
so who are they?
i sat there and dreamt up this own little possibility that they are an underground organization of politicians and educators with high places in society from all across the globe who gather together faceless and hooded in black cloaks around a gigantic table lit by torches along the walls and candelight who discuss what we should be doing with our lives, and spread rumors throughout the media.
i even made up my own little story about it.
a man discovers that all of this is true, and realizes how wrong it really is, and he is found by this organization, and chased for the rest of his life, but nobody believes him, for all he can say is "they are after me!," and since noone really knows who they are, he is believed to be crazy.
eventually, they catch him and execute him in the back of an urban alley.
the secret remains, and they forever remain a mystery.

also, the omen was stupid, save yourself 6 bucks and watch the original.
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[02 Jun 2006|11:55pm]

i'm still sick.
this kind of thing should be gone after at least a week or so.
and its the worst kind of feeling. that of one being unable to feel their throat in a single place way in back. water, soda, coffee, saliva, NOTHING seems to reach it. only itch and pain.
lindsey said that quitting smoking at this point would do wonders for me.
well, no shit. thats a surprise.
its not as though i've been hearing that from every new person i meet for the last year and a half.

i'm still trying to figure out when exactly existentialism became so fucking hip. becuase i missed it. i really did.
maybe its just me.
maybe everyone in this town really is trying to find out who they really are, even at the age of 16, cause its so easy to be a lost soul when you've experienced a mere fraction of the first half of your life.
and who can forgot how ridiculously cool it is not to believe in god.
or to believe in god, for that matter.
fashion, fashion, fashion.

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[22 May 2006|11:43am]

you know you have no life when you find yourself constantly visiting your own myspace page to listen to your profile song.

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profanity. [19 May 2006|12:54am]

its 1 am. i have work in 4 hours. fuck this shit.

anyways, i have a grand idea for a photoshoot, and its met some madstyle approval. i'd like a crew of people - prefereably those who are theatrically inclined - to join in on it. IM me and i'll let you know what i'm doing.
samantha and i are going to go buy clothes for it on monday, then probably going to downtown chicago on tuesday (irrelevant, i know, but we're going to the art museum, and i havent been there in SO DAMN LONG).

ahhh work. fuck that shit.

i'm going to see mogwai again tonight, but this time i won't be by myself, fortunately. i'm giving my spare ticket to this girl renata whom i've hung out with once. at least its not going to waste - which would have been matt laker's doing.
"oh joe, sorry, i realized i have work that day"
(yesterday morning, an hour after i bought tickets for us both)

fuck that shit.

snakes on a plane has a poster in the new lenox theater. i'm kind of excited. very much so, actually.
i've started writing a new story. this one actually has a plot and everything, so i will go somewhere with it. . i'll put in a little bit of it on this journal so as to fill in those who actually give a damn.

opening at caribou in 4 hours. now i'm reminded of that m ward song "four hours in washington", and i'm pretty sure its gonna come true and i won't be able to sleep i'll just hear wolves running around outside all night. fuck this shit.

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[16 May 2006|12:59pm]
i fixed matt laker's missing letter problem. 

thats right, i'm a jeanious.
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